Alice, Sweet Alice

For the last month I have been battling against my cat’s failing liver. It’s failing because she stopped eating consistently a few weeks ago, and last week stopped entirely. I have a few options, the most invasive, expensive, and dangerous of them is having the vet put in a feeding tube.

For most of this week, Alice has been on antibiotics and an IV drip. She nibbled a little, but never really ate more than a bite or two.

I have never been around when a pet dies. Alice is 6 years old, too young to be having these problems, but I can’t seem to reverse the issue. I am afraid of the feeding tube, and I ¬†ultimately can’t afford to keep her on it for the projected 6-to-8 weeks of remediation.

My dear, darling Alice will die, and I am having a terrible time coping with it.

I suppose I am writing this just to say goodbye to her, knowing full well what I’ll have to do if she doesn’t respond to treatment. I love my cat, as anyone who has followed my social network use lately is sure to know.

I can’t help but feel this is my mistake. I couldn’t find the food she really loves and it sent her into this spiral. Perhaps if I’d just tried a little harder she wouldn’t be so sick now.

Here are my favorite pictures of her. looking at them isn’t really helping, but it is nice to remember her as the opinionated, loving, and silly cat she used to be. Her personality is slowly fading and it is the most painful thing I have ever dealt with.

Goodbye, kitty-witty. You probably have no idea how much I love you, how much I’ve worried over you. I’ve never had a cat this expressive or meaningful. You’ll never be replaced.


About Jasmine Maleficent Rea

Jasmine is a writer, journalist, amateur chef, and general nerd. She loves Iron Man, Star Trek, and Dragon Quest to scary degrees and has been known to drink a bit of wine. She's also a semi-recovering game journalist.
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